Always wanting for more

It seems that contentment is so hard to achieve as life appears to be like a never ending cycle of oddities. As man go on with the journey of life, never would he, by all means, admit that life is full or perfect. If this statement is disagreeable, then those who do not concur have literally stopped growing. At times, life may seem so wonderful but the following days or weeks, it may suddenly seem dull and archaic. When it comes to a point of extreme boredom then people tend to find ways on how to amuse themselves and fill their lives with entertainment. This is oftentimes bringing in the illusion of how happy a person can be but only temporary because change is constant and something we have to consequently accept.
As Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs may have put it, people are people and human nature still comes out in the open. Our needs are known ever since we were born and are clear as daylight. If we are clueless about this then I don’t think someone else should come to us and give us a lecture of what our needs are because it’s all instinct. However, Maslow just showed an illustration to further study needs of human beings in terms of their priorities, status and way of life.
Life however we put it, still the fact remains: there is always need for something more. Because everyday we don’t eat the same food, we don’t use the same clothes, we don’t buy the same stuff, we don’t read the same book, we don’t watch the same television show and we just don’t stay the same. We always want something different, something fresh, something we haven’t seen before – something more.
Then here comes the birth of expectations. Once satisfied, people tend to climb another step upward the pyramid and this sometimes may be the cause of a lot of incongruity. A person is totally different from another and one’s satisfaction may vary and would not be directly proportional to the other people around him. The total irony is when complications start to come in, only a few are willing to compromise. Isn’t it too obvious in our world today?
Every single day, there is just a growing need to be fulfilled and demanded to be given full attention. Notice that there is always an increase in number of people who still striving and looking for a better source of living? There are those who seek for improvement in their way of life. Your spouse is demanding, Parents are demanding, children are demanding, School is demanding, the workplace is demanding and in all honesty, everyone can get too demanding sometimes.
The key is coping up and accepting things as they are. It’s so hard to move forward from a particular stressful and painful situation when a lot of things are required from us. They may be a lot of difficulties but life has to go on and on with its cycle. If you find yourselves wanting and craving, then there’s really no need to panic because it’s quite normal. Of course there are still certain limitations. We can’t always have one’s cake and eat it too.
As perfection might be too arduous to achieve, somehow it’s important to learn how to take things slow and easy. It’s already perceived that we can’t please everybody. It’s a fact of life. Maybe it’s good to put into consideration a little faux pas but again, not too overdone for it might be a cause of misunderstanding. Again, we may find ourselves very sad and unsatisfied but let’s not overdo it. We may never like what we have today. But then again, maybe it’s way better than what we could have tomorrow. So everything is just right. Take it easy and enjoy life.

Unexpected...

He gave me this when he thought that he almost lost me... He said that he couldn't bear the pain... and now as I look at it, I felt the pain that he once had

Life is full of surprises... Since Last month, I had a share of the Unexpected. Two men of the past has tried to contact me through my gmail and I don't even know how they got it... Then all of a sudden, I realized... Of course that's possible. I tried to google my name and there you go. My name is all over the internet, thanks to facebook by the way and google!!! (sarcasm)... There were hundreds of results. Anyway, one of my personal missions is to multiply that result by ten or even a hundred (hoping to boost up my adsense account). It was never my dream to be famous but I just want to connect to the world and in return people out there would probably want to share their life experiences with me.
Another Unexpected thing happened. Someone called me up from macau... I was shocked and could not find the right words to say...

I didn’t make it to Macau

Macau... til we meet again...

Sometime last 2007, before we even got out 13^th month pay, I was dreaming of going back to Macau. My previous stay of three months was all shopping around the popular San Malo square and ever busy streets of Red market which never seem to run out of people looking for best buys. I realized that I never really enjoyed the historic place. I was not able to take a lot of pictures of old churches, museums and parks. I was not able to learn more of it being a former Portuguese colony and the handover just occurred last December 20, 1999. But at least I’m proud to say that the best part of my stay there is that I was able to taste of the unforgettable Macanese cuisine. I was planning to break free from nostalgia when I eventually planned a trip there with someone whom I considered very special. Finally, I would be able to see Macau with Fisherman’s wharf and the Venetian Hotel since they were still not there during my brief stay back in 2005. The bear necessities that needed to be taken cared of like a place to stay and plane tickets were the top priorities on my list. I started to fish out these as early as November 2008. However, plans crumbled because of an incident that happened that I deeply regretted. And it’s not only the Macau trip that had gone with the wind but also the rest of the future plans that accompanied it. I was still hoping to get there right at this very moment. I was staring blankly at my packed things and the confirmation sheet on my folder together with my passport and was in utter disbelief. I should have been in the plane by now… flight PR352 with my husband. I never thought that it won’t happen… and it will never happen. Macau, I fell in love with you years ago and dreamt of coming back to you with the man I love. But alas, I think that I should let that dream go…

self-check

I have gone through a series of self-checks before. But those self-checks deemed insignificant after a period of time when I have forgotten the lessons learned behind a particular incident that I believed to have a big participation in. I may have gone through a lot of struggles and sadness but it was a challenge for me to remain poised and maintain my composure.

Surely this time I undoubtedly FAILED. I made an effort to keep my balance but I fell from the high-wire that I've been crossing for some time... and the hands that held me from falling has a reason why He let go, why He let it happen... and the reason remains still a mystery until I have overcome this painful chapter in my life.

I kept on listening on the gentle whispers... "God has a reason for all this" and this is not the time for me to discover the whole truth behind this painful chapter. But it will come to me in a good time when all is calm and my mind is open to change. It is the only time when meekness comes in and I have all the eagerness to learn as that of a child.

The only choice that I have is to face all the difficulties of the present time. If I am lucky enough to escape, it will continue to haunt me in another place and time. It is important for me to pick up the pieces of my life and accept the things that have happened. As a proverb may have put it "Something that happened once will never happen again... but when it happens twice, it will definitely happen the third time."

I do not fear to commit a mistake, nor do I fear of being an imperfect being. But I fear of not having to learn from my mistakes, and if I do not learn, it will surely happen again until such time that I have learned from the unavoidable circumstances. I do not want to learn when the time comes that I'm already old. I am trying my best to correct my mistakes while I'm younger... but I realized that I should not be in a hurry, for being in haste will only delay the learning process and would only be susceptible to risks of us having more errors than that of the first encounter.

my zeitgeist

One rainy Monday I feel so high... 82°F (Feels Like 90°F) drizzling

Ever since I've developed the kind of mental capacity to decide on my own, I made a careful thought of how a friend once commented... "We still have to consider what our parents would say." Don't get me wrong, I'm not entirely against the statement.
My idea is entirely different. However, I don't know how to put it into a different light, my explanation would rather be in a way... spartan to most readers, but I don't expect to please or be understood by people for that matter.
Not that I'm hasty to make my point but I believe that being the usual caring and concerned parents that they are, giving us the perfect life that we have - wanting us to attend a prestigious school, wanting us to be involved in intellectual warfare that would determine how strong and healthy our minds are. Isn't it that the influences that we encounter outside our home molds us in a way, far from parents' interest? Probably not that far, but we developed our own stand when it comes to decision-making. We have a better judgment on our own part, thanks to the wisdom we acquired from books and universities and of course... our parents... and for me, our judgment does not come from books, universities or parents alone. they come from us... from the web that we have weaved and still weaving up to this time. And if ever we decide based on a single entity alone, then shame on us... it's defeating the purpose of parents wanting us to learn more about life... it's defeating the purpose of being alive... it's defeating the purpose of being free.

amicable to self

Sleep deprivation, that's the last sin that I have committed. Since the dawn of my health retaliation, I have ceased to consider myself to reach my 80's (that's very nice to know). I felt that my heart is not pumping enough blood to my system. Worried about me I assume? Don't be, I'll be fine. Cancer cells are not developing yet.

This is what keeps me
from getting all too dizzy... which reminds me, I have to set an appointment with my doctor

I suddenly have the urge to read the book Veronika decides to die. I've been constantly checking out the shelves of National Bookstore for that but there's still no trace of that book. Very true that Coelho has been able to make his books disappear from shelves. I checked my bedside table and realized that I still have to finish reading The Fifth Mountain.

I'm not new when it comes to blogging but I can see that this would be my constant companion at this point in time. No job, no colorful life to live. I have to refrain from being a cynic but this is all there is, nothing left for me to do but accept it.

These will be my constant companions as I start my blogging journey